Today the Washington post ran a letter from a DC area native upset with some stereotypes of Washington. Then they mostly said it was great around here, though they cited traffic and Bethesda and other stuff I could do without. The important thing is that the article ran with a picture of softball on the mall, and it was cited as one of the best things about the region. I couldn't agree more. Playing softball on th
e mall, drinking a few frosty beers, it's just about perfect. Except for the mall cops. Now that they don't have to block off main roads right before an election to scare people outside the city and inconvenience those of us in it, they seem more focused than ever on cracking down on beer on the mall. Roger Maris once said that take away beer and the national pastime would die. Roll Call headline - Park police target national pastime for extinction? Anyway, the aggressive crackdown always seems to come later in the season, like they want softball to wrap up because the city has been too relaxed for three or four months. But each year it seems they get a little more ridiculous about it. Last year we were threatened with arrest. Then at the next game, your band of civilly disobedient softball players prepared to challenge them, and a cop stationed himself on a bench 20 feet from us, staring at our cooler. One would like to think he was just longing for a cool Miller Lite so he could watch the game the way God intended - but no, he was working under the absurd Mall Police rules - if you have a can of beer, you are fined $50 (or arrested if Officer McAsshead takes over next year), but if you have a cup of beer, you are ok. They also can't look in a closed cooler, but if you open it they can fine you for your beers. It's all so college it makes me think we should streak the dean's office.
e mall, drinking a few frosty beers, it's just about perfect. Except for the mall cops. Now that they don't have to block off main roads right before an election to scare people outside the city and inconvenience those of us in it, they seem more focused than ever on cracking down on beer on the mall. Roger Maris once said that take away beer and the national pastime would die. Roll Call headline - Park police target national pastime for extinction? Anyway, the aggressive crackdown always seems to come later in the season, like they want softball to wrap up because the city has been too relaxed for three or four months. But each year it seems they get a little more ridiculous about it. Last year we were threatened with arrest. Then at the next game, your band of civilly disobedient softball players prepared to challenge them, and a cop stationed himself on a bench 20 feet from us, staring at our cooler. One would like to think he was just longing for a cool Miller Lite so he could watch the game the way God intended - but no, he was working under the absurd Mall Police rules - if you have a can of beer, you are fined $50 (or arrested if Officer McAsshead takes over next year), but if you have a cup of beer, you are ok. They also can't look in a closed cooler, but if you open it they can fine you for your beers. It's all so college it makes me think we should streak the dean's office.Anyway, the A's once again plan to play on the Mall in '07, no off-site field for us. We want to be in the heart of it all, hitting flyballs at tourists, staking out fields at 3 pm, the works. And we will once again try to finish in the top three in the league for in-game beer consumption. It is as much a part of who we are as Privacy and Free Speech.
78 days til opening night, May 1. I'll be there with beers on.
2 comments:
Beer and softball go together like Congress and pork!
mmmmmmmmmm, pork!
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