In case you've forgotten, the St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series last year. I'll admit I'd forgotten. They were totally forgettable. That said, it is a decent baseball town. It's also the host city for the ACLU annual staff conference. St. Louis in April! It might otherwise have been a mediocre trip, memorable only for a wierd talent show and prying Frank Knaack off the floor at Harrah's Casino at 4 in the morning, but now there will be a marquee event...the ACLU Softball Showdown I ! That's right, the first intra-ACLU softball tournament is happening this April. Some A's fans have expressed concern about how this will affect our normal spring training routine, and wondered aloud if the early start would wear players down by the end of the season, but A's management dismisses such fears. "First off, we are not going to schedule any doubleheaders this year, so the wear and tear issue is off the table. As for the flow of spring training, I think this challenge will bring our focus to a razor sharp level, and that will lead to a fast start when we return to DC for the CSL opener on May 1st" said Manager Charlie Mitchell. "The Drug Policy Project are a bunch of bitches!" added Ass Manager Mandy Simon.
Details of the tourney will follow. It is unknown exactly how many teams will participate. As of now it is purely a blood feud between the A's and the Drug Policy Druggists. The Hammer and Night Train have been trash talking from their posh Santa Cruz headquarters (between catching killer surf and playing folk tunes to each other on the beach) for months. F'n A thinks all the bongage and barefootedness has made them soft, particularly when compared to our steely, DC resolve.
Let the madness commence.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Beer me
Today the Washington post ran a letter from a DC area native upset with some stereotypes of Washington. Then they mostly said it was great around here, though they cited traffic and Bethesda and other stuff I could do without. The important thing is that the article ran with a picture of softball on the mall, and it was cited as one of the best things about the region. I couldn't agree more. Playing softball on th
e mall, drinking a few frosty beers, it's just about perfect. Except for the mall cops. Now that they don't have to block off main roads right before an election to scare people outside the city and inconvenience those of us in it, they seem more focused than ever on cracking down on beer on the mall. Roger Maris once said that take away beer and the national pastime would die. Roll Call headline - Park police target national pastime for extinction? Anyway, the aggressive crackdown always seems to come later in the season, like they want softball to wrap up because the city has been too relaxed for three or four months. But each year it seems they get a little more ridiculous about it. Last year we were threatened with arrest. Then at the next game, your band of civilly disobedient softball players prepared to challenge them, and a cop stationed himself on a bench 20 feet from us, staring at our cooler. One would like to think he was just longing for a cool Miller Lite so he could watch the game the way God intended - but no, he was working under the absurd Mall Police rules - if you have a can of beer, you are fined $50 (or arrested if Officer McAsshead takes over next year), but if you have a cup of beer, you are ok. They also can't look in a closed cooler, but if you open it they can fine you for your beers. It's all so college it makes me think we should streak the dean's office.
e mall, drinking a few frosty beers, it's just about perfect. Except for the mall cops. Now that they don't have to block off main roads right before an election to scare people outside the city and inconvenience those of us in it, they seem more focused than ever on cracking down on beer on the mall. Roger Maris once said that take away beer and the national pastime would die. Roll Call headline - Park police target national pastime for extinction? Anyway, the aggressive crackdown always seems to come later in the season, like they want softball to wrap up because the city has been too relaxed for three or four months. But each year it seems they get a little more ridiculous about it. Last year we were threatened with arrest. Then at the next game, your band of civilly disobedient softball players prepared to challenge them, and a cop stationed himself on a bench 20 feet from us, staring at our cooler. One would like to think he was just longing for a cool Miller Lite so he could watch the game the way God intended - but no, he was working under the absurd Mall Police rules - if you have a can of beer, you are fined $50 (or arrested if Officer McAsshead takes over next year), but if you have a cup of beer, you are ok. They also can't look in a closed cooler, but if you open it they can fine you for your beers. It's all so college it makes me think we should streak the dean's office.Anyway, the A's once again plan to play on the Mall in '07, no off-site field for us. We want to be in the heart of it all, hitting flyballs at tourists, staking out fields at 3 pm, the works. And we will once again try to finish in the top three in the league for in-game beer consumption. It is as much a part of who we are as Privacy and Free Speech.
78 days til opening night, May 1. I'll be there with beers on.
Monday, February 5, 2007
A's Miss Out on SS Cho
After months of behind the scenes negotiatons, the A's have ended talks with perennial all-star SS Ronnie Cho. The Arizona State product would have given the A's a tremendous upgrade at the position, and a likely .750 leadoff hitter to replace the departed Wheels.
"We tried everything we could; a gauranteed starting spot, no-trade clause, first refusal on gameday beer choices, false promises about job opportunities...in the end it came down to a matter of money," said GM and player/manager Charlie Mitchell. While neither saide has released offical contract numbers that were discussed, sources close to the negotiations tell F'n A that the number was close to $0 over one year.
With Cho out of the mix the battle for starting SS should be one of the most entertaining of spring training. The Puma has faced critics every year, but always finds a way to hold the spot and he performed well in the A's playoff appearance last year. Mitchell has put himself in the mix, but he will need to prove his durability afetr another season of multiple injuries (torn hamstring, turf toe, knee, and jugular injuries). An intriguing prospect is big money free agent Matt Alee. The biggest offseason acquisition in years, the Illinois product is currently penciled in at third, but could be moved over in an emergency.
"We really would like to see him at third," said Mitchell, "we've struggled for years to get good power numbers from the corner positions, and we hope he can turn that around. Plus we like his arm over there."
"We tried everything we could; a gauranteed starting spot, no-trade clause, first refusal on gameday beer choices, false promises about job opportunities...in the end it came down to a matter of money," said GM and player/manager Charlie Mitchell. While neither saide has released offical contract numbers that were discussed, sources close to the negotiations tell F'n A that the number was close to $0 over one year.
With Cho out of the mix the battle for starting SS should be one of the most entertaining of spring training. The Puma has faced critics every year, but always finds a way to hold the spot and he performed well in the A's playoff appearance last year. Mitchell has put himself in the mix, but he will need to prove his durability afetr another season of multiple injuries (torn hamstring, turf toe, knee, and jugular injuries). An intriguing prospect is big money free agent Matt Alee. The biggest offseason acquisition in years, the Illinois product is currently penciled in at third, but could be moved over in an emergency.
"We really would like to see him at third," said Mitchell, "we've struggled for years to get good power numbers from the corner positions, and we hope he can turn that around. Plus we like his arm over there."
Friday, February 2, 2007
2007 Season Tickets Still Available
Welcome to F'n A, the official blog of the 1st F'n Amendments, and welcome to the 2007 Congressional Softball League season. 60 days til Spring Training, and I for one can't wait. Throughout February and March, F'n A will be featuring positional breakdowns of the 2007 team, covering key losses and important free agent signings, and interviews with members of the team. F'n A is your home for Hotstove updates, and will be your one stop shop for A's news, scores, stats, video and merchandise. It's going to be an exciting season as the A's try to build on the franchise's first ever playoff win last season. Tune in, turn on, go A's!
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